Today is my Daughter Freedom's Birthday

Rip me open again, will you?

Let me breathe one more time in synchronicity with you,

my beloved.

I miss your tiny fingers clutching my breast while you fed.

Nails so thin and new, sharp, painful grasps, far from bothered because it was you.

This little light of mine.

She shines,

I,

Mother,

am blind.

With each new awakening, I remember vividly you saying, "Mommy, wake up. Wake up Mommy, it's time to wake up."

Your voice was so mature, I'd never heard you sound like that before, I left you, a baby, next phone conversation you had the voice I heard, mature.

Despite me, you thrive.

You saved my life.

Every day I die a little bit more.

My daughter, how strange still to say.

Still, I say it anyway.

Born on this very day, we waited patiently for you.

You tried to come too soon.

MIdwife says to be with Mommy a bit longer Dear.

Excited to meet you face to face,

I still wait.

Be still they say,

soon she'll be with you.

I miss your laughing face.

Your beauty is beyond me.

I still can't believe you call me Mommy.

Oh, Freedom, beloved blessing, your name says everything.

Be you always.

Mommy Loves you baby.

I've been struggling, in battle, fighting, for you for a decade, holding memories hostage, craving for how we used to be.

No longer 2 or 3, 12 now, wiser than me.

Never stop being you, don't be like me.

Be you always.

Free.

- Warner Bailey