Jill

So I'm back again. When my podcast archives launch you'll get the scoop on whats been going on with me WARNER BAILEY.

Anywho, this post is the newest theme of how I'll be jotting the weird, twisted,  slap stickish, wtf type shit that goes on.

The title of this post is JILL because we were just talking about the name Jill and it was brought to my attention that Jill is one of those names ya don't hear much anymore.

Side note: I knew a chick named Esther who is the same age as me. Remember, I'm 30 something, and as a 17, 18, 20 year old that name has already been super outdated. Esther, Edith, Gertrude, Clementine (although something in me thinks that's still a popular name in places like England or something. (Stupid American ignorant thoughts.)

So we go to sleep last night and wole up around 4am and had some good and about 6 different conversations but my favorite was the Jill convo.
We got to rippin on Jill like there was no tomorrow!
For example: (I actually just made this one up right now) "Shut up Jill with your braces!" or "Love your L.A. Gears Jill." or "I think ya missed a spot of Aqua Net Jill." or "Think you teased that hair enough Jill?" or "Nice Pastels." (He said that one. And as I was dying laughing I got mad that he didn't say "Jill" at the end. His reply, "I think we already established that, we dont need knock it over the head with the name."... I'm all "Hell yes we do! that's what makes it so hilarious! We gotta say Jill!"
Oh Jill, poor Jill. "Ya might wanna scrunch those socks a bit more Jill."
"Awesome shoulder pads Jill." "Take a Jill pull." (I'm not a fan of that one but it flows with the point of the days of Jill's.
I could see the book now, "An Autobiography of the life and times of Jill, 1982-1998"
I think there's still a lot of Jills our there and Jills to come but I truly enjoyed the Jill discussion and Jill digs.
If your name is Jill and youre reading this, I'd love to hear what year you were born in. Odds are, Jill is now a 30 something/40 year old ad agent, if advertising agents even exist anymore. Lol, of course they do, but thats a topic for another time.

So Jill, slap on those acid washed jeans, get that scrunchie for your hair, and read this blog, I wish I could see your face when the AOL login page doesn't connect with that dial up fax machine sound and there's no loading bar at the bottom of your screen. The Velcro on your hightop Reeboks are probably closed too tight and your paisley button up shirt may seem comfty to you but we can no longer be friends when we're watching t.v. and at the commercial you get up to turn the channel. If I hear you call a lean cuasine a t.v. dinner or you speak of David Hastelhoff as a Hunk I'm going to be forced to unfriend you.
But I have one request for you millineals or whatever this next generation is called, do me a favor and bring back some of the "old school" names like Trish or Dunkin or even Brad and Amy so that a weirdo like me can joke at 3am about how we can turn Danny into Manny and say something like "Stop crying and be a Manny Danny!"

That's it for now. Peace in the middle East and We are the world.

"Life Sucks and is so Beautiful."
- Warner Bailey
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